CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Dublin - An unusually aggressive Squirell, of the Mousse&Squirell writing team at TheSpoof.com, attacked three people in a German town before her last victim knocked her out with a crutch, police said Wednesday.
She jumped through a living-room window in Passau, on the Austrian border, on Tuesday and bit her first victim. Squirell then bit a builder before fleeing into a nearby garden, where it bit a 72-year-old man who eventually knocked her out with a crutch.
"I thought she was rabid," said the old man.
When she came too, writer Cal Jennings asked her why she did it.
Squirell replied, "I'm just so mad at those jerks for rigging the Ron Paul polls, it makes me want to SQUEAL! Besides, the old man said that my roots are showing, and I can't have that.