Written by Gareth Carpenter
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Topics: Tony Blair, Hospital

Friday, 6 February 2004

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Blair - rushed to hospital

UK prime minister Tony Blair is back in hospital tonight after undergoing intensive surgery to have a strange object removed from his anus.

Blair was rushed to Guy's Hospital in London early this afternoon after appearing to shift uncomfortably on his seat during the Prime Minister's Question Time in the House of Commons.

Lead surgeon at Guy's Dr Roland Rummage said that his team had successfully carried out surgery on Blair.

"We performed an exploratory operation on Mr Blair's anus and managed to dislodge the object," he said. "It appears to be a Law Lord's tongue."

One junior doctor on Rummage's team, who wished to remain anonymous, revealed that the tongue had been "long, pink and hairy".

"It looked like it had been up there for a very long time," he commented. "About as long as it takes to read out a 381-page report I'd say."

The Spoof asked Lord Hutton if he had any comment to make but he kept his mouth firmly closed.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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