Young Timmy Bulstrode won't forget his 7th birthday in a hurry, for no sooner had he blown out the candles on his cake, than he was set upon by a lynch-mob, taken to the village ducking stool and almost drowned for being a warlock.
Doris his mum told us:
"We'd bought him a nice game for his Nintendo Wii and he was having a ball, when next thing, this strange looking man in black robes bursts in and says that they suspected Timmy of being a force for evil and that they were going to have an instant trial. Me and his dad was devastated!"
The Spoof can reveal that Timmy was then strapped to the ancient ducking stool in the villiage of Great Bumms and told if he drowned he was an evil warlock and if he didn't then he still was.
Local resident Harry Belpher told us:
"I tell 'e. That kid was a wrong'un. He 'ad funny eyes and I got the shakes every time 'e did come into my shop"