BRADFORD, UK - 05/06/07. In another gesture of celebrating diversity, Prime Minister in Waiting, Gordon Brown today pledged £5 million to create the UK's first Muslim Clown School.
Despite accusations of patronising every Muslim on the planet with the idea, Mr. Brown was quick to counter.
"It's all about celebrating diversity and the values of social mobility. Great Britain is nothing if not diverse thanks to the massive economic benefits that mass immigration has brought to this nation."
Ruth Kelly, Minister of Jobs for Jobs' Sake, welcomed the idea.
"The people of Britain need to see the lighter side of the Muslim faith. Some may say that everyone pretty much just gets on with life, but Labour disagrees. We need to be pointing out the differences in people and force ideas onto them that they may not agree with. It's not condescending to anyone at all. There's more to it than just allowing people to 'get on with one another by their own devices.'"
Muslim leaders spoke cautiously of the plan. "As unnominated representatives of Muslim Youth in today's multicultural Britain, we feel that this could open new avenues for our youth. We believe that our Youth will now discover for themselves the joy of having fun by dressing up and wearing makeup."
This paper did try to interview various Muslim Youths but they were too busy enjoying life and mixing with friends to care about Mr. Brown's Grand Plan for them.
When pressed about a possible Clown School for his beloved Scotland, Mr. Brown dismissed the idea.
"There's a lot of work to be done before we get my people to smile naturally."