Pretoria, South Africa - (Ass Mess): As he boarded his official plane for the return journey home to London from South Africa today UK Prime Monster Tony Blair scoffed at persistent press questioning that he faces 'imminent arrest' when he lands in the UK to face indictment on an array of criminal charges of which the cash-for-honors debacle is merely the icing on the cake.
"They ain't got a thing on me," Blair snorted at reporters gathered on the airport tarmac.
"Trust me on this one. I'm still The Man, nobody messes with me while I've still got the finger on the country's nuclear button, day and night, 24/7.
"Saudi arms for peerages? So bleedin' what. Prosecution not in the country's interest is what my good chum Lord Goldsmith, Attorney General, told the fraud cops.
"I'm sure they wouldn't want any sudden inexplicable seismic event under the foundations of New Scotland Yard to suddenly ruin decades of precious policing for ever!"
But despite the Prime Mobster's gung-ho bravado a convoy of armoured personnel carriers, tanks and an entire armed infantry division was spotted today heading for RAF Northolt the official government airport used by politicians.
Internet spreadbetting index Aintgottaprayer.com has offered odds of 5/4 ON Fav on Blair facing manacles, handcuffs and a padded cell on his arrival home this weekend.