Written by gopherash
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Friday, 1 June 2007

image for McCann parents lined up for Panto
Will the McCanns fill seats come Xmas?

Following their meeting with the Pope the parents of missing toddler Madeleine McCann are rumoured to be appearing on stage in a production of Oliver Twist this Christmas.

The couple's spokesman confirmed the news outside the official "Where's Maddy?" HQ in London today;

"Gerry and Kate are thrilled to have been offered the opportunity to play some of the lead roles in Oliver Twist and they are hoping if Maddy returns she might play one of the children herself"

Upon her return Madeleine too is set to rake in millions in advertisement and endorsement deals, with leading board game manufacturer Hasbro buying the rights to a "Where's Maddy?" version of popular children's game hide and seek.

The "Where's Maddy?" publicity company, set up two hours after her disappearance is also looking at new celebrity tie ins after getting Pope Benedict to agree to sport a special Madeleine charity wristband. T-shirts, Madeleine dolls and personal child safety alarms are amongst the lucrative money making schemes the company has set up.

Popular beat combo Boney M have issued a rerelease of their hit Daddy Cool with alternate lyrics and the new title, "Maddy Cool". The new single was produced by Jonathan King.

Leading finance company Deloitte & Touche, who regularly compile lists of the world's richest people have urged Madeleine to prolong her absence in order to make as much as possible. Ron Fallongé commented;

"From a financial point of view she'd do well to keep hidden with this fellow she's run off with for at least a couple of months. Everyone loves a comeback, just look at take that! When the hype has died down and we've milked it for all we can, then BAM, back she'll come and she'll overtake that cunt Radcliffe by millions on the rich list of stars under 21"

One option the McCann parent's have yet to comment on however is the offer from McCain chips to promote a new brand of small fries that apparently "Don't stick together in the pan, just like Maddy McCann" People were left confused by the meaning of the slogan and it could sully the McCann's good name should they take up the offer.

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