Written by Dave Stewart

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Topics: Tony Blair, Music

Monday, 28 May 2007

image for Tony Blair to launch pop music career
Blair is often seen busking around London

"You know, I think it was about time that, after ten years of a government that, as I keep reminding people, delivered long term growth to this country and record public investment, it was time to get down and groovy with some tunes."

There were no tears in Blair's eyes as he addressed the monthly press briefing at Downing Street this morning, rather, his eyes were beaming with new life and renewed direction for the future. He spoke in a calm but slightly Jaggeresque manner, about his record as a Prime Minister, and his future as a rock artist.

"You know, I mean what it is that I'm trying to say is, sometimes I'd be sitting in my ministerial office, and I just wanted to, like, throw the filling out the window, man." Prime Ministerial life was boring, he went onto explain, it did not allow him to vent his anger at how punk music had been hijacked by what he considered to be a bland and commercialised generation, "modern music just doesn't provide the grounding for musicians to feel that they're truly and honestly changing and participating in real social change, people." The Prime Minister will offically leave office on 27th June this year, to be replaced by the current Chancellor of the Exequer (Finance Minister) Gordon Brown, a politician who, to Blair's admitted annoyance, didn't share his enthusiaism for late 1970s Punk.

"It caused arguments all the time" Tony became somewhat tense as he explained the friction his interest in music had caused with Brown over that past decade, "he just didn't get the vibe that we had going over at 10."

What now for Tony Blair, as an artist and as one of Britain's most high profile politicians, "the album comes out in September [Blairing Out To The World], and it's really just a chilled out record in which I express who I am through a mix of various musical styles, based on numnerous influences."


    1. Things Can Only Get Better.
    2. Hand On Heart (I Did What I Thought Was Right).
    3. Let Me Hear You All Say N.H.S!
    4. The Mean Streets Of Baghdad.
    5. Afghanistine The Monster Of Kabul.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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