Written by Cinead
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Topics: Dogs, Crime

Thursday, 24 May 2007

image for Dogs charged with perverting course of justice
Max and Warrior

HELENSBURGH (Cheuchters) - Strathclyde Police have charged two dogs with perverting the course of justice. DCI Helen Back stated the charge related to the devouring of a crime scene.

DCI Back gave the following statement: "On Wednesday, the historic remains of a hippy were discovered in a hole at Faslane Peace Camp and the scene was taped off for forensic investigation. By Thursday, the remains and tape were missing and the hole had been filled in. Upon searching the vans we arrested two dogs wrapped in tape, crunching bones and with soil on their paws."

During the arrest, a scuffle allegedly broke out between police and animal rights activists. One activist, who is staging a treetop protest to "Free The Twa Dugs", explained - "Wey aye man! Any suggestion ah don't feed me dogs is a lie an' ah'll kill anyone who says it!" shouted Dave "Dave" Davison, who is also a pacifist.

Max and Warrior, who cannot be named for legal reasons, have been placed on remand at Wooftops Kennels, Rhu, pending means enquiries.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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