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Tuesday, 22 May 2007

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"The depression is almost palpable" Professor Ving-Lunie

A man from Bognor Regis in Scotland is at the end of his tether, for try as he might, he just can't seem to shake his chronic depression.

Si Coe tells us:

"I just don't seem to be able to shake these drabs no matter what I do. It's as if a dark cloud seems to be following me everywhere.

I'm in Tescos and there it is, out with my girlfriend and there it is, round the shops buying 20 fags and a paper and there it is. I went to see a comedy show and I never laughed once! Mind you it was Lenny Henry"

Professor Ray Ving-Lunie comments:

"This is a fascinating case. Mr Coe's depression seems almost palpable, it's as if one could reach out and touch it"

We have printed a special medical type photo, taken by professor Ving-Lunie using some well flashy kit, and some people actually say that they can see a sort of black thunder-cloud type thing round Mr Coe's head.

And celebrity barmpot, Robbie Williams, tells us:

"Yes that's just how it feels. A sort of dark cloud thing. It makes you want to stay in bed all day and not come out"

But the last word on this amazing story must go to celebrity gardener Alan Titchmarsh:

"Why do people always get my bloody name wrong? It's Titchmarsh not bloody Titmuss!!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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