Written by queen mudder
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Sunday, 20 May 2007

image for Buckingham Palace tosser running Iraq security contracts
Sir Malcolm Tosser has Corrupt Bastards Club contracts

London - (Ass Mess): Sir Malcolm Tosser, equerry to Old Fatty Mountbatten and Master of the Pretender to the Throne's Household, has got himslef a nice little earner flogging shares in his security company which has contracts in Iraq, Sudan, Nigeria and other Corrupt Bastards Club-controlled oil-rich hellholes.

Tosser lives in a lavish grace and favor abode and pays a peppercorn rent for the priviledged St James's Palace address.

Now his megalomania has burst the seams of any rational part of his brain as he tries to float the seedy protection racket company on the stock exchange next month raising millions to line his greedy pockets.

The promotional prospectus crows with delight at his Hellfire Club appointment where he serves the impersonator who acquired the ID and persona of Queen Elizabeth despite that fake queen having been deposed by an act of Parliament in 1963.

Officially Sir Malcolm Tosser's job title is Comptroller of the Lord Chamberlain's office, ie head accountant and chief apologist for sixty years of lying to the public about the fake IRA queen calling herself Elizabeth II.

His responsibilities include all ceremonial occasions, "from garden parties to investitures."

In 2003 he was responsible for the smooth running of George W Bush's 'state visit' to the Hitler/Stalin-spawned fake queen.

Previously he organised the "Queen Mother's" funeral in 2002 and ensured that there was no reference to the real Queen Mother dying in the Luftwaffe's September 1940 bombing raid on Buckingham Palace.

The funeral seating arrangements ensured that the dead woman's eldest son, George Bush Senior attended the event without so much as a whisper.

Other notable events masterminded by this slimebag aresehole are the ludicrously fake 'Queen's Golden Jubilee' and the funeral for Diana, Princess of Wales.

"He's part of the cash-for-peerages bribery scam," a top-notch police source said today.

"We're watching him and have already reserved his cell at HMP Belmarsh in the same wing that the Blairs will call home for the next 50 years."

Tosser's PR agents said today that his company, the Westminster Group, "specialises in providing security and counter-terrorism advice and equipment to clients across the globe."

The exact interpretation of this statement may be left to the head of UK's anti-terrorism squad who has surveilled Tosser's recruitment campaigns of every UK mainland atrocity including the City bombings of 1994 and the July 7 outrages on public transport.

"Trust us, the Tosser's toast," a cops source said today.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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