In a shocking statement today police have revealed that there are 42,000 steroid users in the UK, on a par with heroin abuse. Today's teenagers and sad older men, yearning for a rippling muscular body are downing the drugs like there's no tomorrow. And for some of them, there may not be.
Britains secret steroid users are congregating in gyms and weight-lifting clubs all over the UK to gain access to what they consider the body beautiful. In fact rippling brown stringy muscles on formerly skinny and probably ugly males is the most off putting factor for Britain's females according to a recent Mori poll.
Ancient bodybuilder Sylvester Stallone, who promotes the "potatoes stuffed in American Tan tights look" came top in a survey of " Men you wouldn't touch with someone else's bargepole" conducted by Cosmopolitan Magazine.
Stallone today warned against excessive use of steroids for anyone except himself.
The stroke-faced bulging octogenarian was recently convicted of using body enhancing drugs. He later claimed his money back.