Written by Stylo
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Topics: England, Obesity, Fat

Saturday, 19 May 2007

image for Brits Celebrate Top Award!
Johnny Vegas relaxes in his Shropshire home.

English people are the lardiest in Europe - it's a fact!

A survey completed last week found that compared to our European neighbours, we scored highest in thigh flab, pot-belliedness and neck girth.

Two average people from each of the competing countries were chosen for the survey; Germany picked two supermodels, Spain sent in the measurements for a hat-stand and a deck-chair, and France offered seven year-old Siamese twins with a combined eating disorder.

Asked why England had chosen Vanessa Feltz and Johnny Vegas for the survey, a spokesman replied, "England wins sod all these days, so it will be a real boost to national morale to come top at something for once."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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