Whitehall - (Rotters): The news that Prince Harry isn't going to Iraq has been announced by General Sir Richard Donut who admitted the decision had been taken in the light of a number of "specific threats" by the Prince.
Harry will now join Prince William in a Blues and Royals holding unit destined never to go to war, and never to try to reinvent himself as a bona fide second heir-in-waiting to the Pretender to the Throne.
The new squadron is made up of injured soldiers unfit to serve, those preparing to leave the regiment or anybody unfit to serve because they are attempting to evade criminal prosecution for stealing the ID and civil list dosh-ups of a prince of the crown.
The MoD's U-turn comes after a detailed report by British police suggesting he would deliberately target splinter groups directly paid and supplied by the UK to debunbk the myth that he is a bona fide royal.
Intelligence sources close to the Prince said: "It is going to play on his mind - 'why am I doing all this training if I am not going to use it? When did they first begin to suspect? And why isn't Blair covering my arse like he promised when we told him who to ennoble to the Lords?'
Kate Middleton is 25.