(London, Eng-er-land, Associated P.A.) The decision to send Prince Harry off to fight in Iraq has been reversed. It was decided this week that the Prince would present too great a security risk for both himself, and other soldiers of his unit serving with him.
Spokesman for British Military Strategy, George W. Bush (no relation), had warned that the safety of the young Prince could not be guaranteed - all the while Americans were operating in the area.
'The Prince is not some tu'ppeny-ha'penny commoner' he said. 'If this guy gets shot at, someone's ass is gonna be on the line'.
The reversal of policy came after months of careful consideration during which it was initially decided to send the Prince along with his unit. However, it has since come to light that an increased American presence in the so-called 'Green zone' had altered the safety-model the British had based their earlier decision upon.
'We can protect the Prince against land-mines, insurgents, enemy fire, mortars and grenades' said Bush. 'What we can't protect him against is some trigger-happy Joe from Hickville, Alabama who's on a "shoot every bastard and let God sort 'em out" agenda. Add the US Airforce into the mix and you've got a recipe for disaster'.
The decision, taken by high-ranking British Army Lt. Brigadier Cecil de Nez-Braun, was received with relief from Buckingham Palace who later confirmed his forthcoming Knighthood in the 2008 New Year's honours list.
War correspondent: Ho Lee Crap, Baghdad.