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Tuesday, 27 January 2004

image for Blair faces worst 48 hours of his life
Lord Hutton; already dressed for Blairs funeral

British Prime Minister Tony Blair faces the toughest 48 of his life, starting yesterday morning, so he's only got 24 to go, not that it matters.

Blair, whilst having a few minor political difficulties, faces a serious revolt within his own home.

Euan his eldest son, is refusing to eat, drink, or crap until the brand new Ford focus his mum blagged is returned and replaced with "at least a bloody TVR, I deserve a flash car don't I? Mark thatcher sold arms to Iraq all I want is a nice car on tick" he whinged to disinterested reporters.

However this is by far the least of Tony's worries, concerns over youngest son Leo's, drug and alcohol intake have forced the prime ministerial nanny to stop trips to see Wills and Harry. Stephen Byers will now have to get the car and drive round instead of giving him acid and telling him Alistair Darling is Harry and David Blunket, Wills.

As if a petulant brat and a toddler druggy alcoholic wasn't enough. Various tabloids are set to break the Cherie, Carole lesbian sex romp story, with video stills, turned down by the Spoof.com on the grounds anything that hideous should be destroyed, and the video too. Piers Morgan, erstwhile idiot and editor of the daily Mirror, was quoted as saying "this story deserves to be in the public domain, I know lesbian granny sex is more the Daily Sports territory but our readership has gone through the floor, we are extremely desperate and would even consider running Ulrika sex stories, hopefully this story will take the readership figures back through the roof."

Revelations about acts within the video are being bantered about all over the place, but in case some of you are of a sensitive disposition i won't repeat any of them, although the scene with the huge rubber dildo is particularly unpleasant, apparently.

Blair's day could of course get a whole lot worse, MP's could realise the folly of his Higher Education Bill, if they do and vote against it, Blair's position would become extremely precarious. Coupled with the imminent release of the Hutton Enquiries findings, brought to you yesterday by the Spoof.com or more than one occasion, Blair's time has almost come.
Gordon Brown has been preparing to do a Brutus, whilst throwing token words to MPs and journalists in support of the bill, he has secretly been stirring the rebel cause.

Even Charles Clarke's antics with a poker haven't guaranteed the vote in Blair's favour.

Former spin-meister, and friend to the Prime Minister Alistair "for F**KS sake make me a Lord" Campbell, in Miss Sixty jeans and a top by Nicola Farhi claimed "TB will come through this with ease, the mans never lost yet, he doesn't know how to lose, I taught him that, he will never lose. Y'all betta face it TB is here and he's gonna stay whether you like it, or not. So you may as well get used to it. The Hutton thing and this vote may well see the end of Hoon and Clarke but you can be sure TB won't be the fall guy, someone else always has to carry the can." Before denying any attempt to appease aggravated students with a pathetic attempt to "connect" with them.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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