Written by davidjreilly
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Monday, 14 May 2007

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Menzies Campbell

A spokesperson from Scotland Yard today confirmed the Liberal Democrats have filed a missing persons report for it's leader Ming Campbell, and was forced to admit in a broadcasted appeal that 'we actually have no knowledge of his most recent whereabouts, people who are capable of identifying Ming have got quite used to him not being visible in the public eye; which is why it's taken so long to be reported. The last confirmed sighting we have of him was three months ago in the News of the World.'

The police have already mounted a search of the tearooms and Battenberg selling shops of the aging parliamentarian's constituency, but to no avail. Though concern is mounting the police did state during the appeal that 'it is not uncommon for persons at Ming's time of life just to wander off; often in search of Werthers Originals or a nice cup of tea. They usually turn up again once they've found whatever they think they set out for. With Ming being a former Olympic sprinter and all, he's probably still very light on his feet, and may have just gone a little further than most.'

A visibly flustered Lib Dem party member present at the press conference added, 'we can't apologise enough to everyone about this, it is very unprofessional to lose your leader in such a way, but I guess after Charles (Kennedy) we just let our guard down a bit. In comparison, Ming was incredibly reliable and so we felt sometimes as though he could do what he liked.' The appeal for sightings of Sir Menzies Campbell continues, and the police distributed a recent photograph of Ming to both the local and national media, but it is believe so far no one has yet published it.

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