After their disastrous showing in the Eurovision Song Contest last night, 35 times winners Ireland, have announced their representative for next year's event, set to be staged in Serbia.
None other than the T-Shirt himself, Bertie Ahearn said:
"We're hoping that by chosing De little fella (real name Daniel O'Donnell), that this will revive the Emerald Isle's fading fortunes. And to add weight to the campaign, Frs. Ted Crilly and Dougal Maguire are tipped to penning the ditty. So feck the lot of yiz!"
Katie Boyle, an old hand at the Euro lark told a packed press conference last night:
"These feckin feckers from the Eastern Bloc are voting for any auld shite just so long as it's from one of their own neighbours. Well the Oirish aren't gonna stand for it no more and they are leading with the dream team of Crilly, Maguire and O'Donnell. Let's see those feckin' bent bastards give a team like that nul points!"
And Peter Pan of pop, Sir Cliff Richard, himself a one-time Euro turn commented:
"I watched last night in disbelief. It was just you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours all fucking night long. I wanted to chin somebody after watching it! It's a bloody good job that there were no Latvian plumbers doing any work on my gaff or there'd have been trouble!
But let's see them not give it to Dan next year. They wouldn't dare. Ireland's move is the equivalent to playing a joker in It's a knockout. Pure quality!"
Former Genesis frontman, Peter Gabriel, was not available for comment but he is believed to be brassed off by last night's shameful antics.