Written by Double Diamond
Print this
Topics: Chavs, BMW

Thursday, 10 May 2007

image for BMW drivers "Are wankers"
The choice of a tosspot

Its official! The ministry of transport have announced the findings of a year long study into the behaviour of the UK's drivers.

Controversially, it would appear that BMW drivers have come out on top as being "Wankers".

The team responsible for this result examined several key areas to reach their conclusions and found the following:

  1. BMW drivers were the most likely to tailgate you, and thought nothing of intimidating all other drivers.
  2. BMW drivers are most likely to cut you up at junctions without indicating, and have also developed a highly sophisticated method of conveying offensive messages to other road users through sign language.
  3. BMW drivers seem to all choose the same type of "Wankery" fashion (Burberry, JJB merchandise in general etc)
  4. BMW drivers almost exclusively seem to be "Chav's"
  5. BMW drivers seem to be the worst offenders for blocking access to schools using their X3's and X5's

Upon interviewing a few BMW drivers, they were found to be arrogant, obsessively materialistic and just plain irritating.

So there you have it, BMW drivers are "Wankers" and now there is cast iron proof.

Make Double Diamond's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 5 multiplied by 1?

6 17 14 5
43 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more