Written by matthatt
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Topics: Old People

Wednesday, 9 May 2007

image for Old woman is splashed in swimming pool!
I'm 92 you know!

London (Ass' Press) Earlier today, police had to be called to a local swimming baths, just round the back of Kentish Town. Where an old lady had been splashed by someone, possibly younger than her, in the local pool where she likes to go of a Wednesday to see Agnes and Betty.

"There I was, standing in the middle of the pool, chatting to the girls and this young man swims right past me and you know what? He splashed me he did. Just swam right past and carried on going without a by your leave, young people today! I don't know what's wrong with them. I really don't.

"I was saying to Betty, just the other day, about the youngsters in the shops these days.

"I'm 92 you know!

"In the war, my dad used to put coloured ink in our porridge to make it look different every meal time, that's all we had you see. Porridge! Oh and carrots from the garden, oh and the occasional bit of chocolate that Uncle Sid used to bring back from Europe with me mam's nylons and butter that he got from an ex German what lived in Margate. It was hard times but we didn't want fer nuffin…

"…Did I tell I was splashed, right in the swimming pool it was, young people eh?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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