Hellraising bassist and Motorhead frontman, Lemmy, was today the toast of the Shires as he single-handedly put the finishing touches to his garden wall.
The cock-a-hoop heavy metal star told The Spoof:
"It's a project I started some years ago and it's taken up all my spare time since. I couldn't make up my mind if I wanted traditional stone or red brick. In the end I opted for a mixture of both.
I hope that it will lend my garden that certain something that up until now has been missing. If all goes well I'm hoping to enter the finished job in my local Villages in Bloom competition"
But Lemmy's neighbour Col. Bygraves Fortescue comments:
"I don't hold with this type of fellow at all. He's forever biting the heads off bats and quite frankly it's just not cricket.
He needn't think that he can just come and live in our community and expect to be accepeted by bigoted old tossers like me"
But an amused Lemmy just shrugs his shoulders and says:
"He's mixing me up with somebody else. I've never bitten the head off anything whatsoever, well perhaps the odd jelly baby but that's the limit"