Chaos looks set to rein on the streets of Great Britain today as the glorious weather sets in for good and the majority of the Great British Public finds their main topic of conversation - the weather - has dried up.
Following the hottest April on record many Brits are feeling the pressure of having to find something interesting to talk about too hard to bear. A sobbing housewife today admitted that, after 40 years of exchanging weather pleasantries with her next door neighbour whilst pegging out the washing, yesterday she admitted she was a secret alcoholic. "I don't know what came over me" she sobbed, "I just couldn't think of anything else to say."
The Minister for Weather today commented, "As global warming sets in and the prospect of rain decreases the whole of the U. K is going to have learn the lost art of intelligent conversation again."
The Marriage Guidance Counsel also reported record numbers beating a path to its door, "It's chaos, "a spokesman commented, "We have couples who actually do not know each others names sitting here trying to communicate. They have been watching weather reports for months just waiting for a bit of rain to talk about."
In response to growing pressure the Government today announced a "National Barbecue Incentive" will be launched to try and support Britain's families during the crisis period.