"People of Wales, pack your bags you're being deported!" That was the shocking message leaked from 11 Downing Street last night following a top secret meeting involving Mr Brown, his future cabinet colleagues and three very trustworthy members of the tabloid press who were invited along, providing they promised not to say anything just yet.
It's understood that future Prime Minister Brown, 72 from Glasgow near Northern Ireland, has been keenly searching for popularity winning answers to both regional unemployment levels in England and Wales, as well as the ever growing demand for spare housing, due the huge influx of Eastern European immigrants entering our shores over the past 3 years.
Our source has revealed that Mr Brown believes "The Final Solution" to deport or "De-Welcomise" the Welsh from the UK by midnight 1st January 2009, will bring unemployment down by over 99.27% in 24 hours, whilst also ensuring that 10's of 1000's of homes will become immediately available to house "our hard working Britski friends", coming to us from Poland, Latvia, Lithuania, Ukraine, Hungary and a few other places near Moscow.
It was also revealed that Mr Brown has been in close talks with the Zimbabwean premier Mr Mugabe, and agreed in principal to sell the Welsh to him for a nominal fee, so they can work for him as slaves in a bid to boost the country's failing farming industry. The only condition being that their British passports are to be confiscated and burnt upon entry into the Zimbabwe.
The growing speculation has not been welcomed however on the streets of Bangor, N Wales.
One passer by, Mr Jones angrily commented to us earlier today, "It's a bloody cheek are you isn't it boyo!"