Prince Harry will be sent to Iraq, chief of war-mongering, General Sir Les Avvum, announced this morning, despite fears that his overt gingerness may make him a target for Iraqi militia.
There had been speculation that the young prince's hair colour and freckles would rule him out of active duty in Iraq as it would make it difficult for his fellow servicemen to concentrate and would be a focus of ridicule from the opposing forces.
One senior military official, who is opposed to the plan, claimed that "ginger soldiers simply do not have a place in the modern army due to the comic nature of their appearence and their inability to maintain an appropriate level of butchness. Plus, they show up easier on radar".
There have been reports in the media that rogue bands of "carrot toppers" have been springing up throughout Iraq since it was rumoured that the prince could be drafted into the conflict. They have vowed to oppose the young royal's presence by wearing silly wigs and singing songs about ginger pubes.
Prince Charles has so far refused to comment on the decision but the renowned pacifist is known to consider this "a father's worst nightmare". Sources close to the heir to the throne say it is difficult for him but he will just have to come to terms with the fact that his son is ginger for life.
Both Chris Evans and Mick Hucknall were unavailable for comment.