London - (Ass Mess): Nothing like a little bit of Spring sunshine to bring out the sub-moronic orange fake tan brigade in public!
The London streets have been swarming this week with early season Chicken Tikka Masala-colored arms, legs and torsos in an explosion of Cooltan and Tanfastic daubings that somehow always manage to leave the palm of hands lobster-red and a curious, slightly medicinal whiff of Halliborange lingering on the crowded commuter subway trains all day long.
But all that may soon end as frantic debates in Parliament propose to outlaw the hideously tacky Brit practise, fine and/or jail its perpetrators and ultimately allow for the hanging of anybody profiting from the wholesale misery of trading in the stuff.
This is just one of a raft of measures under consideration as the traditional British climate warms up early in the year and millions face the misery of being swamped by the orange dumbasses strutting their stuff in public, in bars and restaurants, on public transport, shopping malls, cafeterias and parks.
"It makes you realise how sensible the alternative of the head-to-toe hijab can be," said a Parliamentary discussion group spokesman.