A small town in the middle of somewhere was astounded earlier today when yet again, a dog with "no history of aggressive behaviour" attacked a small child.
Following a recent spate of dog attacks all over Britain a report has concluded that several factors occur repeatedly.
Lady Barbara Bitehouse of the Dog Factor Report Session today confirmed that the incidents always involve 1/ a dog and 2/ a small child. Lady Barbara commented, "it seems that the equation we have formulated runs like this; small cute puppy....big nasty dog, its the dots we need to fill in."
Conjecturing further Lady Barbara added, "It seems that when you buy an aggressive breed of dog, restrict its personal space, fail to ascertain its needs and then introduce a small child into the equation, things start to go wrong."
When asked when the report will be concluded Lady Barbara smiled and stated that a conclusion had already been reached and submitted to the Government. "Basically," she said, "If you buy a ruddy great dog, coop it up in a tiny council flat and spoil it rotten, it will probably bite your kid's face off one day."