New Labour has announced that they are proposing to change their name in the lead up to the next election. A spokesman said, "The term Labour has negative connotations, in this day and age with long hours, poor job security and an ever widening gap between the rich and poor, no one likes to be reminded of work.
We have been distancing ourselves from the Labour movement for almost a decade now and believe that it is the right time to strike out on our own and model ourselves more along the lines of the American Republican party that our all powerful leader The Great Tony admires so much."
He continued, "The Big Brother party envisages a modern authoritarian big-brother kind of party, and everyone knows how popular Big Brother is. We will be following the Americans in declaring war on something intangible and elusive so we can clamp down on civil liberties without anyone being too suspicious. The Americans have already done a great job pretending to have wars on drugs, communism and terrorism so we are looking into possibly going after Satanism or Spammers."
The Conservative party spokesman Sir William Filibusterer said "Damn them, they've stolen all our best ideas, now we'll have to move to the left and pretend to be the rational alternative."