In another loopy decision, an English High Court Judge ordered the British Government to release a well-known Afghan terrorist and award him … a butler.
The Afghan, who, for legal reasons, can only be referred to as Mr. Iqbal Mohammed Sidiqui of 3 Ayatollah Street, Watford, had been arrested by Special Branch officers last year for planning to bomb the Houses of Parliament. He was found with Semtex, maps of Westminster and a book called "How to blow up Big Ben". Since he does not have a British passport, British security service agents, after giving him a good hiding, decided to deport him, but the man appealed to the Special Immigration Court, on the ground that if he was sent back to Afghanistan, he would be shot by the Taliban for failing in his mission.
Mr. Justice Headintheclouds said "He is clearly a refugee. While it may be that he was going to commit an act of terrorism, it is also possible that he is an entirely innocent tourist wanting to visit a major British tourist spot. I accept his explanation that the Semtex was for his haemorrhoids and agree that it is possible that he picked up the bomb-making book by mistake at Borders, instead of 'The Rough Guide to London'."
The Judge concluded "The European Convention on Human Rights requires him to be released, given free housing, education, medical treatment, and a butler".
The Government is taking legal advice on whether the European Convention requires it to give free butlers to terrorists.