Written by queen mudder
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Saturday, 28 April 2007

image for Chelsea Flower Show cancels Rosie O'Donnell rose after pressure from Trump
The Rosie O'Donnell Rose: "somewhat overblown in the heat of the moment"

Royal Hospital, Chelsea - (Ass Mess): The organisers of this year's Chelsea Flower show have decided to dump the official debut of the Rosie O'Donnell Rose after a series of embarassing spats with US billionaqire and hair-slickover artist Donald Trump who threatened to pull sponsorship of the Show's famous organic manure competition where lucky entrants can win a year of muck to spread on their gardens or wherever they like.

The Rosie Rose was said to have been a whopping big pink Hybrid Tea Rose 'somewhat overblown in the heat of the moment' but likely to flourish if given enough attention.

The US TV show host of The View had been invited to mark the rose's official debut but spiteful sources close to Trump started a whispering campaign saying there isn't a marquee big enough to accommodate O'Donnell's corpulent frame.

"And what's more the blackfly are starting to swarm on the buds which are already polluted with blackspot and rose-rust infestations," a Show organiser said today.

"We are also having to dump some over-blowsy floribundas," the spokesman continued, "like the highly controversial Kate Middleton which as everybody in the industry knows was a hybrid-cross that failed to flourish in poor soil."

The show opens to the public on 23 May.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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