London - (Ass Mess): Kate Middleton's colleagues at Jigsaw have told UK press reporters that the 25 year old former girlfriend of Prince William dumped her beau when she found out that George Bush was his actual father and not Prince Charles.
"Kate said she was totally sickened by the whole thing," a source said today.
"Apparently she found out the awful truth when she went to Tea at Buckingham Palace.
"The Lord Chamberlain Lord Luce-Cannon sat her down and said it was time to tell her the facts of life.
"He then showed Kate pictures of George W Bush and William taken in 1991 when the Bush family made a low-profile visit to London and Bush insisted on seeing the nine year old little bastard.
"Kate said she was sickened to the very pit of her stomach when she was told that the Pentagon had demanded Bush sire a British 'royal' son before allowing him to proceed with a political career.
"William the doppelganger lookalike cuckoo was planted into Kensington Palace after the 'real' William had what Prince Charles has described as an 'unfortunate and fatal accident with a police protection officer's handgun'.
"And then the new William, Bush's spawn, somehow managed to shoot and fatally injure little Prince Harry who too was hastily replaced with a gingernut lookalike on Bush family orders."
Miss Middleton said she refused to sign whatever it was that Luce-Cannon had proferred to her.
But she did tell him and the assembled flunkeys that the 'record' button on her mobile had been left turned on all the time she was being informed about the hideous chimera during her Palace visit.
Camilla is one sick woman.