Written by carina-eta
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Topics: Scotland, Sewage

Sunday, 22 April 2007

image for Firth of Forth Faeces Boosts Scottish Tourism
You couldn't shake a shitty stick at it

100 million litres of raw sewage was today pumped into the Firth of Forth in what the Scottish Tourist Board hailed as a "fantastic" move.

A spokesman today commented: "We are well on target to becoming the new Blackpool. We have already commissioned a decaying pier with Z-lister entertainment and are attracting bus loads of prostitutes and drug-dealers with massive incentives".

Meanwhile the Scottish Trade and Industry board have also offered incentives for businesses suppyling cheap jeans, kiss-me-quick hats and rock shaped like sexual organs. "We will soon be welcoming vast numbers of picnicing Scots to our faeces strewn beach ," commented Wee Tommy Kircaldy, of the Scottish Tourist Board. However, not everyone seemed happy with Fridays move.

Several hippy-types straggled the filthy beach cleaning shit-covered seagulls in detergent filled baths. Wee Tommy commented: "We welcome all animals, it's nice to see these kids washing their wee pets."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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