CCN (Crazy Cal News) - London - "I can't believe that Tony dumped me for that idiot" shouted Gordon Brown upon hearing the news of the Blair/Bush engagement. "George Bush wouldn't be so tough without his Secret Service. Give me one second with Bush without his Secret Service and I'll scratch his eyes out!" continued Brown.
After making his statement, Brown ran backstage crying, desperately looking for a handkerchief to dry his tears. He then called Russian President Vladimir Putin seeking comfort.
"Vladimir, darling," said Brown, "can you beleive my Tony accepted the proposal from that monster? I was heartbroken. What does he see in that Texas idiot anyway? Just because Bush pictures himself the next world ruler doesn't mean he had to take my sweetheart."
President Putin's comments could not be heard.