Written by carina-eta
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Topics: School, Exams

Saturday, 21 April 2007

image for Exams are Getting Easier due to Massacres
Another no-hoper gets 5 A Levels

A four year report today concluded that exams are in fact getting easier. Today, students with lower IQs can expect to get higher grades in GCSEs, AS levels and A levels than 40 years ago.

However, in direct contradiction to the common explanation offered by the elderly in pubs and clubs around Great Britain the reason isn't simply that "things were harder in my day".

In fact, the main contributing factor to the lower IQs of today's students is the lack of intelligent pupils taking them. The main reason for this decline is the huge percentage of students being knifed or shot while going about their day to day business.

One student, who didn't wish to be named stated: "It's hard to concentrate on Homer when you are worried that the person sitting next to you might suddenly leap up and massacre your classmates."

In fact, the study concludes that more intelligent students are in fact being killed off, leaving their mentally ill or schizophrenic counterparts to take the exams. Another significant contributory factor is the undermining of intelligent children by their grandparents who are constantly telling them that it was harder in their day, while blowing Woodbine smoke into their faces.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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