It was today confirmed that Virgin Media mogul Richard Branson will fight Sky boss Rupert Murdoch in a Texas death match to decide who was right in the row over Sky channels.
The bout, to be promoted by Don Queen, will be aired live on some channel no one can receive.
A spokesman for the virgin camp today said that Branson, will kick arse. "Dicky is in the best shape of his career!"
Meanwhile the Murdoch family spokesman today confirmed that Rupert had gone on a strict diet of virgin cola to gain the weight for the fight.
To watch the match will cost £3000. Phone up your local cable operator and ask for the scrap.