Written by Lee Wyatt
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Topics: Food

Friday, 20 April 2007

image for Food isn't Safe Study Shows

A study by the university of Hogwarts has discovered that food is unsafe and shouldn't be consumed by humans.

The study, which was commissioned by the government, shows that food, such as stuff that is eaten, contains things like wheat, protein, fat and sugar.

Professor Jim Bob Jack Jones, who lead the study said: "Finding these things in the foodstuffs was rather a shock. We were particularly shocked to find there was actual sugar in sweets"

The study also showed that wine gums contained no wine and Chick peas were not made from chickens.

The Minister for social foodstuffs and things Alistair Bullwacky said "It is high time that these things are banned from our supermarket shelves. We have a duty to this country to protect our citizens and the Prime minister agrees. Mr Blair will pass a law making foodstuffs illegal".

65 million people will be affected by this and it is thought that only one person will survive the starvation. That person is thought to be Vannessa Feltz.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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