London - (Ass Mess): It's no wonder Kate Middleton dumped the Pretender to the Throne's son William.
At London's Funky Buddha club last night where Kate was seen with a group of her girl friends revellers were agog at stories that she had read official MoD reports warning her about the princeling's psychological weaknesses that no amount of Clarence House spin had ever managed to conceal.
And today an army psychiatric assessment leaked to the press says the 24 year old second lieutenant is clearly a wacko with delusions of grandeur whose family wealth was gleaned from squalid British Aerospace backhanders solicited from the Saudis as part of the £40 billion Al Yamamah arms-for-oil deal.
William's psychological profiling reveals he would be the typical husband-from-hell complete with an array of dodgy criminal relatives whose fawning to George W Bush is the only reason they have survived into the 21st century without being prosecuted for treason and crimes against humanity.
"Added to which his personal proclivites of shagging burly bodybuilders, Kensington Palace rodent control operatives and Colombian drug cartel gangsters is a far from ideal position in the context of matrimony," the report says.
Camilla is 69.