Tony Blair, the self-appointed President of Great Britain, shocked Civil Rights groups last night when he announced radical legislation to solve the problem of obesity.
Blair, a fitness fanatic, has always shown his contempt for ‘fatties, and he has long held the view that the average British peasant is obese because British food tastes too good.
Consequently, his new legislation will make all ‘working-class' food taste revolting.
Following consultations with the Queen, and leading bulimia groups, it was decided that all peasant food will taste of soggy cabbage.
Under sweeping new legislation it will also be illegal for fat people to eat, drink, or procreate with thin people.
It will also be unlawful for fat people to learn how to cook, and all cookery books, are to be collected by ‘Blair's Army', for disposal.
When asked if his new laws were a tad draconian, Blair went on the offensive.
‘Some of the world's worst tyrants were fat,' he explained.
‘I want to create a healthy race of people who are perfect, just like me.'
‘History has taught us that fat bullies like Saddam must never be allowed to occur again,' Blair bleated.