Doom, County Limerick - (Ass Mess): After a spate of unexlpained Virgin sightings above the skies of the tiny Irish hamlet of Doom in Co Limerick the local council has voted to revert to their village's old Celtic name of Dun Bleisce which national hysterians say means the Fort of the Harlot.
"There's always been an old slappers' citadel in this vicinity," said Fergus McShergar, a local cobbler.
"We feel comfortable with living in such a desirable conurbation named the Fort of the Harlot which I think best describes our collective professions."
The Co Limerick hamlet was first mentioned in church archives in 774 AD when it was described as a pleasant place to while away the hours.
It's chief source of income is the hospitality industry although given the number of flocks of sheep grazing in its wilderness beauty the majority of its tourists come from over the waters in Wales.
The village council is now looking for a 21st century icon to serve as its patron saint and may approach Madonna later this year.
"Otherwise there's always Britney of course, although an awful lot of the folks round here are pretty much stuck on Heather Mills."