In an absolute shock to the country, and the world, Prince William has gotten drunk.
As someone who is quite drunk while writing this article (not a joke), I can tell you I find a 24-year-old getting drunk on cocktails completely normal, although I thought Prince Harry wearing the Nazi uniform was one of the funniest, most ironic images I've ever seen. This image has now been topped by the thought of a drunk Prince William 'Doing the Robot' to emulate Liverpool's Peter Crouch.
Apparently, in a family meeting, the Queen, who I believe has been replaced by Helen Mirren, has told William to dump commoner, Kate Middleton, and turn instead to the army. According to the Queen, "There is nothing William can get from Kate that he can't get from a tank".