A man from Penge who was a former male model, is today starting a lawsuit against St Guy's hospital for a plastic surgery operation that has gone horribly wrong.
Jim Thompson went for the op last week on the recommendation of top satirical writer, Breeze, who was for ever including the nonexistent house of healing in his many stories.
A sad Mr. Thompson said:
"I just wanted a sort of change really. So they showed me various treatments and in the end I settled for a "Brad Pitt". But just look at what the cack-handed fucker of a surgeon has come up with! I look more like a fucking hobbit or something!"
A spokesman for St Guys defended the surgeon, Mr Avanlaff, and told us.
"Mr Avanalff is much respected surgeon man. Him is top geezer in homeland and very good cutting mate. Not pissing it up with nurses before op and we defend him in court"
We asked the spokesman if maybe St Guys is being undermined by a lack of properly trained staff and to quash rumours, rife in medical circles, that it is in fact being run by almost totally eastern-european doctors and nurses.
"Dis not trues. Most of our doctors is going to Uxbridge universities innit?"