Written by Duff
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Sunday, 15 April 2007

image for No More Fun At The Palace For Kate Middleton's Pussy
Kate's pussy. Seen here in happier times

The people of Britain have woken up today to news so devastating that it could signal the end of these great Islands for ever.

The Spoof can exclusively report that Kate Middleton's cat will no longer be seeing the Queen's corgis. This is sure to be a blow to most people of Britain who are obsessed with either Royalty or pets; with a few others having an unhealthy love of humour that involves toilets and arses.

A palace spokesman told us:

"It's true. As soon as her majesty heard about William and Kate's split, she ordered Kate's pussy's pass to Buck House to be cancelled"

A devastated Mrs Slocombe said last night:

"This is the worst thing to happen since the war. I don't think I can ever get over it" She was then helped to a waiting taxi and seemed to be totally inconsolable.

Arthur Scabs, who fought in the war was close to tears as he told us.

"Splendid occasion, wonderful pageantry, Queen Mum Gawd bless 'er. That's what this country's all about aint it? And now to fink that this 'as 'appened. Blimey squire it's a bleedin liberty that's what"

Prince William was unavailable for comment last night and was believed to be being comforted by a mystery leggy red-head who has blonde hair.

Kate's pussy is believed to have engaged the services of a theatrical agent and has its sights set on the coveted Blue Peter cat role.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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