Drowning Street - (Ass Mess): UK Prime Monster Tony Blair has urged Scotland Yard to resist giving him "a good kicking" ahead of rumored further arrests in the cash-for-honors scam that saw his gatekeeper, his blind trust portfolio bagman and his sperm donor arrested in the £100 million fraud probe.
"There could be some very serious consequences if you defy me," Blair warned UK top cop Sir Ian Blair, no relation.
And in a further move the PM has threatened to pull Prince Harry from impending Iraq duties where he is scheduled to drink for his country in a bid to introduce 24 hour licensing to the newly established democracy on behalf of the UK brewing and distilling industries.
Speaking from behind the relative security of the Number 10 sofa where he is encamped during the Easter recess Blair looked shagged out but defiant.
His wife Cherry Bush QC is currently slumming it in Bermuda where she has wormed her way into giving legal opinion in a case totally ourside her professional remit as an Inhuman Rights Act shyster lawyer.
Meanwhile persistent Whitehall rumors suggest the PM has put the couple's entire annual salary on 'Slim Pickings', a 40/1 outsider in tomorrow's Grand National in a desperate bid to pay off the Labour Party's overdraft, currently in hock by over £25 million to the Provident Truss.