Written by Wildjesusfishkid
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Topics: Food, Smoking

Monday, 2 April 2007

image for Fat Kids Eat and Smoke
Don't try this at home

Today, a ban has come into force that prevents unhealthy food products being advertised on children's programmes.

Some cigarette companies that prefer to remain nameless secretly told us that most of their sales come from the 12-16 age groups as nearly all adults have now given up smoking. We thanked the Tobacco companies for their input but pointed out this is about food advertising and nothing to do with them.

"These gluttonous kids puff away like great fat lardy bastards. Most of them just sit around eating raw bacon and fresh cream cakes all day. They only stop eating to light up a ciggie. I say let the fat bastards die." said Church leaders.

Children's' agencies have condemned the harsh words said and that the Pope should know better.

Oven chip sales have doubled since the re-introduction of Jamie Oliver's great pork roast extravaganza in to rural areas, so there is a real case for banning food adverts completely. Jamie has worked hard recently so we thought it only fair that he get himself out into the provinces so that country people are annoyed by him as well.

Members of the Guild for Unhealthy Food for Children said that the ban could hit sales really hard. God was unavailable for comment.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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