News reaching us today that Prince Harry is to pass over on his life of royalty and go instead for a career as a trainee manager with fast food giant, Burger King.
The excited Prince told us:
"Let's face it; I'm never going to get a meaningful gig as a royal. The best I can hope for is what uncle Andy did; that's shagging a load of fit birds whilst sponging off the public and pretending to be in the forces or something like that.
But by joining BK's management training scheme I'll be doing something really worth-while. I'll be able to bully thick kids and tell them to sweep the floor and all that. The beauty is that I won't have to wear one of those stupid fucking uniforms they wear. No way! I'll be wearing a shirt and tie!
If things go well I may have a word with my line manager and ask if can wear one of my own stupid military uniforms to show how superior I am to the othet thickos who will be my crew-mates"
A spokesman for Burger King commented:
"This is great news for us and just shows that we are so much better than that McDonalds cack! Ronald McDonald eat your heart out!"