LONDON (Reuters) - Tony Blair sent a petulant personal note to Iran on Friday begging for the release of the 15 captured British spies seized in Iranian waters.
Britain had just failed to secure a tough international condemnation of the seizure by the UN Security Council which usually bends to the will of the imperial nations the USA, Britain and Israel.
"I know that I am just a lapdog of that warmongering freak George Bush," began Blair's blunt diplomatic note. "But I'm a warmongering freak too! I know we really should not have illegally invaded Iraq based on lies and non-existent WMDs, just to grab Iraq's oil fields. But BP and Shell and Exxon Mobil ordered us to do it!!!! Also, our Zionist masters ordered us to...just like they ordered us to go to war against Iran too in order to grab your oil fields and to remove you as a threat."
"Israel wants to continue stealing Palestinian land without interference from Iran and Iraq, and to continue strengthening its apartheid system and its ethnic cleansing of Arabs and Moslems and anyone who isn't Jewish. That's just the way they are," continued Blair. "That of course is the whole basis for this war against terrorism...which was sparked by that 9/11 plot that Mossad arranged as a false flag operation."
The British Foreign Office said Blair's note had not been approved by their office, and it found the note to be "highly embarrassing and totally amateurish."
Yet Blair continued, "Sure, those 15 sailors and marines were in Iran's water…but how else could we spy on you?"
The captured spy crisis has sent oil prices to the highest levels for almost a year, greatly boosting Iran's oil revenue as the world enters "peak oil" and oil shortages loom as prices skyrocket now and forever.
Ratcheting up the situation, Iran on Thursday released a second letter by the female member of the British spies, Faye Turney, in which she again said her patrol had "entered into Iranian waters."
Blair reacted angrily to what he said was "blatant propaganda," labeling the letter's release "outrageous and cruel, but utterly true."
"So please release our spies," concluded Blair in his personal note to Iran. "Pretty please? Pretty please with sugar on it?"