George W. Bush and his fellow scamps Colin Powell, Donald Rumsfeld and Dick Cheney have finally admitted that the entire Iraq war was nothing more than prank gone bad. The victim of the joke was British Prime Minister Tony Blair who has only recently learned that he has been the butt of a unintentionally cruel hoax.
" It just went too far," admitted the American Imp in Chief, President Bush, " but man, you should have seen the look on his (Blair's) face when he finally found out. We had Jack Straw video tape it for us and send it over in a diplomatic pouch. I gotta tell you, it was priceless."
Apparently, the whole charade started after President Bush and Prime Minister Blair's first face to face meeting several years ago. The then newly elected Bush, a man known for his outrageous antics ( his bankrupting of America on a dare is still causing chuckles among Republicans in the know) thought that Mr. Blair was putting him on by speaking with a British accent.
" Being from Texas, the President had never heard anyone speak that way," explained unnamed Administration official Wegman ‘Pudgy' Waterhouse, "The only time Bush ever heard an accent like that was when he once inadvertently tuned into BBC World Service on the radio. He thought that was a joke too." Convinced that the British PM was shining him on, Mr. Bush decided to do him one better. With the help of fellow pranksters Rumsfeld, Powell and Cheney as well as Jack Straw on the UK end, they conceived the famous " 45 minutes to complete destruction" gag.
"Tony bought it hook line and sinker." giggled Colin Powell, " He was really terrified that his country would be attacked. But sadly, we took it a bit too far."
Unwilling to bring the unfortunate joke to a conclusion the American Administration felt it had no choice but to actually attack Iraq and occupy it.
" I can't believe they made me the butt of a joke," wept Mr. Blair when he was finally told, " World Leaders can be so cruel sometimes."