Written by Monkey Woods
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Thursday, 29 March 2007

image for Gordon Brown - Who Is He?
Is this him?

Gordon Brown may be Britain's next PM, but it's unlikely that he would be the People's Choice. Indeed, so anonymous is he, that many people still do not even know who he is.

A survey carried out in London, Manchester and Birmingham showed that less than 5% of voters knew he was the Challenger of the Excalibur, and still fewer that he was already the Deputy Prime Minger.

Accountant Toby Dipstick from London, said:

"Isn't he that chef on the telly who uses the F-word too much?"

He wasn't on his own. Several of those surveyed made the same mistake, and other guesses were even wider of the mark.

Albert Duncecap, 68, of Birmingham, thought Brown was England's 1966 World Cup goalkeeper:

"Wasn't he the goalie that saved that header from the coloured fella?", he asked, referring to Gordon Banks' superhuman effort to keep out Pele.

Others thought the 1978 Jilted John hit with the chorusline "Gordon Is A Moron" was written with Brown in mind, whilst 24% of those asked said Brown was the puppet in charge of the utility submarine Thunderbird 4.

One woman said he was the actor who played Renee in the BBC sitcom 'Allo 'Allo, and two students in Manchester said he was an express train in Rev. W Awdry's famous Thomas the Tank Engine series.

Present PM Fony B'liar said:

"Gordon has taken a back seat so far. When the time comes, we'll get him an image makeover. I, myself, had one. Before I came to power, I was just a useless, snivelling, grinning, long streak of piss that nobody had heard of.

Now, people recognise me wherever I go."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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