Written by Jugs Monthly
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Topics: Heathrow, Plane, A380, airbus

Tuesday, 27 March 2007

image for Brand spanking new Airbus A380 stolen at Heathrow
A very important part of the A380's 5 speed gear box

The world's newest and largest commercial airliner, the A380 was stolen today during a stop over at Heathrow airport while under going a test flight from Toulouse.

At about 3pm the pilot taxied up outside the duty free shop and nipped in to buy 200 Embassy ciggies. During the brief time he was in the shop the plane was half inched (Heathrow slang for pinched).

When the pilot reported the theft to the airport police they initially tried to deal with it by posting a lookout at the end of the runway. However it soon became apparent that this action was too little and too late when a plane with suspect plates refused to stop when ordered to by a baggage handler.

A man about 18 years of age (who was not wearing a seat belt) at the controls of the giant airliner flicked a finger gesture to ground crew. He then put the A380 into a nose up position and disappeared over the horizon.

Later the pilot, Albert Nutless when questioned by Detective Groinpain from some minor police force about why he left the plane to buy cigarettes said, "It was going to be a long test flight and I didn't want to be without a smoke miles away from a shop." He admitted leaving the keys in the ignition with the 4 giant jet engines ticking over. He added "I feel such a numpty, my fellow pilots wont let me forget this in a hurry"

Airbus officials said while they could see the funny side of it, it was slightly embarrassing as it was the only A380 they had and all the blueprints were on the dashboard.

In regards to the pilot's lax attitude in looking after the aircraft they decided, as it was his first offence he would not face disciplinary action this time but refused to pay his air fare back to Toulouse.

A plane reported to be similar in size to the massive airbus later appeared in the 'Stolen goods, buy now' section of Ebay

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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