Buckingham Palace - (Assinine Press): The Hellfire Club's fiction factory unveiled its latest offering today in the shape of new gold and silver £5 coins purporting to celebrate the 60th wedding anniversary of the actors still impersonating the House of Windsor's Duke and Duchess of Edinburgh.
The daughter of Adolf Hitler and a sister of Joseph Stalin has been a class act ever since the 1940 bombing of Buckingham Palace that killed King George VI, his wife and their eldest daughter Elizabeth.
Her 1947 marriage to a dodgy Greek minor princeling was swiftly dealt with by the UK Labour Party with his sudden, unexpected demise on honeymoon and immediate replacement with the lookalike nephew of Oswald Mosley, the fascist leader of the UK blackshirtlifters.
UK Prime Monster Tony Blair is that doppelganger's bastard son.
The fiction-commemorating coins issued by the Royal Mint have been issued on Blair's orders after pressure from Hellfire Club grandees threatening to grass him up on all 500 peerage appointments of organised crime cartel bosses since the 1997 general election.
A spokesman for Number 10 said that the Prime Mobster was "especially thrilled that the design has been chosen to commemorate such an important occasion in British royal fiction hystery."
Each coin is inscribed with "Heil Hitler!" and will be sold at twice face value with proceeds going to the Blair Rehabilitation and Retirement Fund.
Lord Levy is paralytic.