Salisbury, Wilts - (Rotters): Fundamentalist creationist nutters settled in the foothills of Stonehenge and ran brothels on the site of the pre-Romano English sacred monument according to the latest archaeological discoveries centered on the 130ft neolithic Avebury Mound.
The news comes after ruins believed to be at least 5,000 years old were found by English Heritage scientists who are adjudicating a Department of Vultures, Mediocrity and Spots bid to build a super casino on the site of Stonehenge, Britain's oldest and most hysteric ancient monument.
Heritage spokesman Dr Bob Bewley said that "What we have here is something like a roadside village, where Roman travellers would have changed whores and stayed overnight on the way to Bath."
But ancient graffiti found in the area spells out a cruel message claiming Stonehenge was built in AD 66 as a grassy knoll suppository for worshippers of literal interpretations of the Bible.
The ruined remains of an primitive protein-defying ageing pancake factory seem to confirm that early ancestors of the Reverend Pat Robertson infiltrated English pagan sites and ran prostitution scams to finance their communities.
"There are a lot of legends about Avebury Mound built by the devil and you wonder what the Creationist nutters thought about it," Bewley said.
"Seems like they had no qualms in running their organised crime rackets from the monument."
Pat Robertson is 73.