Written by Mongrel
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Thursday, 8 March 2007

image for Duke of Edinburgh to meet Jade Goody
State visit worries

The Duke of Edinburgh will meet Celebrity Big Brother Star (and mother-of-the-year candidate) Jade Goody tomorrow. Although living worlds apart, the Duke has much in common with Miss Goody, because despite having had the privilege of a first class education, his comments are often seen as either racist, bigoted or both.

His memorable gaffes include:

    To students studying in China -
    'Don't stay here too long otherwise you'll get slitty eyes'.

    To a factory owner on observing an ancient fuse box -
    'That must have been installed by an Indian'

    To a Scottish driving school instructor -
    'How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough for them to pass the test?'


A Palace source told The Spoof 'The Duke wants to meet someone with international experience of getting away with such remarks, and with the bare faced cheek not just to live it down, but to go around the TV networks from here to Bongo-Bongo Land' talking about it.

Miss Goody who has never met the Duke, is also expected advise on etiquette and protocol for the forthcoming state visit of Shilpa Shetty, who has graciously agreed to visit Buckingham Palace this month. She is likely to recommend that whatever else they do at the palace banquet - just make sure that the Chicken is cooked for the full 20 minutes.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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